Day 44. Expectations.

I have a problem with expectations. Or should I say day dreaming?

I have a feeling I've already written about this, but if I've forgotten I'm sure you have too!

I plan out stories in my head. If I like someone I dream about what they will say and do, if I'm dating someone I think about the sweet things they will do for me, if I'm going on a trip I picture myself in the perfect water, and so on and so on.

I think it's a little normal, but what happens to me is I don't just dream about it. I expect it. You can imagine how disappointing this is. To expect this dream vacation and to find that the water isn't quite as blue as in your dreams, or getting the funny t-shirt for your b-day instead of the ring. You get the idea.

It goes without saying I also plan the amount of weight I should lose. I get disappointed about that as well.

Expectations, I'm learning, are the kill joy of living in the now.

I would like to plan without expectation.  Is that possible?

Let's find out.