Day 18. Why I Said Yes.

I knew writing a blog would be fun and easy for the first two weeks.

I'll be honest with you, I haven't been looking forward to writing these last few days. It's hard to admit you aren't doing well. It's hard to write when you don't have anything to be super pleased about.

Writing this blog with Paige would mean if I didn't write even on days when I didn't want to that I would be letting Paige down too not just myself.

I am doing ok. I'm not binging and I'm not making crazy wrong choices telling myself I'll start again on monday. From spending a lot of time at the hospital I am tired and I've been eating at weird times so those choices are putting me off a bit.

I have a weekend coming up ( Sunday, Monday ) I want to cook my meals for the week and store them so that when I'm starving and  I come into the house I don't just grab the starchiest thing I can find.

I'm getting down on myself that it is taking me a while to bounce back. The whole idea of bouncing is what I am aiming to get rid of. I am struggling in general right now. I am climbing back up already though and I am not falling further and further down. All good things.

To end on a good note I'm going to share with you my Cashew butter.

I don't measure.... sorry.

A handful or two of raw Cashews
a pinch of salt
about 4 drops of stevia ( more if you like it sweeter )
put it all in your food processor ( I use my vita mixer)
use coconut oil to help move the blades. ( I ended up using less than 1/4 cup )

its amazing a hint of coconut and sweetness of cashews -great on anything.