I am very,very good at starting 'diets', 'new lifestyles', 'healthy choices' - whatever you want to call it, I'm good at starting. I love rules- tell me not to eat something and I won't. I've started two blogs. I've started over 100 diets, I've made plans for 100 trips I haven't taken, I've bought memberships to gyms I only attended a few times and so on. My point is I am great at starting and trying.
An alternate name for this blog was ' Baby Giraffe ' (Paige's idea) -but it was great; not as delicious sounding as cake for breakfast but still great. The idea of falling down again and again and getting back up is exactly how I feel. At what point does it get too scary to get back up again? I guess like the baby giraffe, if we don't get back up again we , well , we die - if not literally than figuratively.
I'm brushing aside the THIS TIME I'll do it! and Nothing can stop me! as nice as those sound on day two... On day 14 when I'm having cake for breakfast ( lunch and dinner ) it seems something can stop me and it tastes great.
My journey is finding a way to fall, land softly, figure out what tripped me and gracefully get back up to continue on stronger than before.
You can read about my goals in Meet Jessica ( goal number one is figuring out how to post to that section) but I'll give you a teaser - they are all about being happy and healthy.
I'm sick of feeling like shit and feeling like I have no control. My name is Jessica and I'm a sugar addict (and carb and cheese and diet pepsi addict ) I'm about 100 lbs overweight, but its ok, I have a pretty face ( that was sarcastic --it's not ok ) and I'm ready to take the last 15 years of learning about food and fighting with food and let it go. For me, This Time isn't about a 'diet' , 'new lifestyle' or making 'healthy choices' it's about recovering from an addiction. It's about learning to how to live. Its about choosing life.
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