Saturdays are always one way or another - the most productive or the laziest day of the week. I am all too proud to say that today was one of the happenin' Saturdays. I got up early, went to the animal shelter and to the gym afterward, and made a whole wheat and homemade sauce baked spaghetti for supper. Now I am off to do some socialization. This makes the list of productive things because in the winter, I could care less about making the effort to interact with people. I can barely tolerate the rigmarole of it all in the summer.
I'm hoping to figure out/deal with this frame of mind this year. I've always had pretty bad social anxiety, but that combined with not enjoying the company of most people results in a solitary life. I've seen the videos and read the articles on "how to be okay being alone", but that isn't the issue. I am already quite content in being alone. However, I don't think it's healthy. I still feel compelled to try and fight against it at times. Like how you know you should get an annual pap smear, but as the date nears you're disappointed every time you think of it? That's me with going to a party. Except the pap smear makes me less uncomfortable.
Of course, there have been a few people I have met and genuinely felt a connection with throughout my life. But most often they are similar to me in the ways that make them hard to catch or drag out of their own hidey holes.
Maybe by the end of this year, if I'm feeling better about myself and get my shit together, I'll welcome the company of others. All others. That sounds much easier.
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