I don't know what I just went through, but it was something. I went to a bad place for about a week. Part of it was a stressful season at work. To get through it, I put my head down and charged through, not giving any of my time to really taking care of myself. Just surviving and indulging. All sounds a bit dramatic.
Anyway, I have emerged now. I feel calm again and it's a welcome feeling. Back to some semblance of routine with water, vitamins, stretching, laughter, vegetables and unrefined sugar. My skin is looking better lately. No thanks to my recent diet, but by this point, I've given up on trying to control it.
I am feeling motivated financially. My tax return is going to be another payment to the credit line, as well as most of Friday's check. They say frustration grows in correlation with how close you are to a goal. I couldn't agree more. It's an odd mechanism, a pressure to stay at least remotely close to your goals or you won't care enough to try.
I'm finally liking my hair. It's been a painful process of trying to gain length while being forced to hack off the fried bits at the end. But just last night, it finally seemed to...settle. I don't know how else to say it, my hair just calmed the fuck down. Maybe the spring air is revitalizing it.
Off to work I go. I just have to stay above its soul-sucking factor and enjoy my off hours so much that I can just daydream about them during the 8 hours I spend in a chair. Freedom by June. I don't know exactly what that means yet, whether I'll leave my job then or make some other big change. But I anticipate freedom. And I look forward to it.
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